fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
