East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i barfeds in our rink
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
