seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
