clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
