Three words: puerto rican gang bang
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
