Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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