Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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