I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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