mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
