I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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