Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
