Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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