I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
