Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
