i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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