You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
