I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
