Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
