chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dicks are not precious.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize