You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
