Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.

Fav 14 3030 757
share tweet
(740): View more from Ohio

Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does

Fav 49 4782 917
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.

Fav 25 9583 1114
share tweet
(479): View more from Arkansas

I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.

Fav 25 1486 5028
share tweet
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(281): View more from Texas

I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...

Fav 21 1421 6070
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.

Fav 29 4955 1633
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them

Fav 10 5678 1153
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(307): View more from Wyoming

Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."

Fav 4 621 585
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life

Fav 5 166 394
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT