You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic