Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.

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  (404): Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn. http://tfl.nu/mlpv
  Replies (124) Good night (5955) Bad night (903)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.

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  (305): so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high. http://tfl.nu/cyd0
  Replies (20) Good night (5126) Bad night (607)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  $1 pitcher night should be outlawed.

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  (859): $1 pitcher night should be outlawed. http://tfl.nu/2dye
  Replies (38) Good night (5286) Bad night (836)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.

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  (330): I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet. http://tfl.nu/cgw3
  Replies (61) Good night (5011) Bad night (1149)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.

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  (314): who the fuck is that kid sitting with you... (1-314): I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out. http://tfl.nu/gjl6
  Replies (15) Good night (1071) Bad night (4695)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Found your pants in the mailbox

  (646): View more from New York

  What were my pants doing in the mailbox?

  (516): View more from New York

  I don't know but there's postage on them

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  (516): Found your pants in the mailbox (646): What were my pants doing in the mailbox? (516): I don't know but there's postage on them http://tfl.nu/6yt8
  Replies (36) Good night (6025) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.

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  (402): I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of. http://tfl.nu/pxlj
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (2383)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together

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  (713): Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together http://tfl.nu/dsi2
  Replies (6) Good night (3387) Bad night (673)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.

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  (484): the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished. http://tfl.nu/p2b9
  Replies (7) Good night (5395) Bad night (988)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween

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  (587): My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween http://tfl.nu/z2rb
  Replies (15) Good night (3221) Bad night (1093)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter

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  (614): Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter http://tfl.nu/3fce
  Replies (6) Good night (1717) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads

  (1-787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Croutons?

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  (787): He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads (1-787): Croutons? http://tfl.nu/yr5t
  Replies (3) Good night (1526) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.

  (1-504): View more from Louisiana

  Oh shit. This is getting real.

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  (504): Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning. (1-504): Oh shit. This is getting real. http://tfl.nu/zlj3
  Replies (8) Good night (1226) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket

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  (707): Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket http://tfl.nu/p2ny
  Replies (2) Good night (688) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message

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  (203): I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message http://tfl.nu/s744
  Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (280)

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