it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.