I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..