This is not my ceiling
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.