The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i drank out of a bidet.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
