the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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