Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
