so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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