How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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