Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
