I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
soo... how was my night?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize