The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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