wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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