Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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