some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
