What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
