new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize