He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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