no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
