I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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