Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
