the new term for farting is butt boxing.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
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I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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