He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
