do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
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i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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