i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
