if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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