Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
