so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
