I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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