coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
