I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
