M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
