I just cut my nipple shaving
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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