Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
