Duck Duck Cougar?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
