It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
