bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
