and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
