So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize