Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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