Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
